“I think pearly gates are kind of overdoing it. It costs too much to maintain, visitors will scratch them all up, it just seems like a lot of trouble. What’s wrong with a plain ol’ wooden gate? Or maybe an iron gate, if you’ve got that kind of money.”
Worst-case Gulf Coast scenario now includes catastrophic methane explosion leading to mass extinctions and the total collapse of human civilization. Paging Kubrick and Southern: a gigantic fart may doom mankind.