Get the smelling salts handy: incidence of “anchor baby” births may have been exaggerated for political purposes.
Rhetorical questions useful for downplaying the long history of civil rights violations and ethical complaints lodged against controversial Arizona sheriff.
Physicist says something completely non-controversial.
Clearly salmonella outbreak at egg farm can be blamed on overly broad and onerous government regulation. Clearly.
Rock Band video game franchise to add hip-hop tracks to game. Gamers explain that the reason they didn’t buy it was because they have no extra cash this week, not that, you know, they have …

Scotland Yard may have shielded Murdoch newspapers from investigation in hacking scheme. Law enforcement personnel colluding with rabidly right-wing media? How utterly, utterly, utterly unheard of.
BBC examines reasons why donations for flood relief in Pakistan have been so slow to arrive. Yeah, they’re pretty much EXACTLY what you’d expect.
High ratings for Deepwater Horizon story prompts sequel.
Newspapers running articles on stupid things young people do pretty much just catering to their remaining audience.

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Colleges worried that taking photos of young, well-muscled athletes posing shirtless, smeared with baby oil, flexing their muscles and gazing longingly into the camera, might send the wrong message.
Solar activity may affect rates of radioactive decay, therefore the Shroud of Turin is real.
Major global-warming skeptic now admits that global-warming is a serious threat. “This is totally not about selling my new book now that sales of my anti-global-warming book have dried up,” scientist claims.
Boy Scouts continue proud tradition of touching young men’s lives.
CEOs at companies that laid off most workers …

YouTube planning pay-per-view service for feature films. YouTube commentators looking forward to calling “UniversalStudios” a faggot.
University of California president’s housing costs schools $600,000. U.C. schools planning tuition hikes.
Parents fear anti-bullying policy might give children the mistaken idea that it is wrong to pick on others because they are different.
Giant inflatable turtle helps rally support for California ban on plastic grocery bags. Future generations to remember mascot as “that big turtle thing that’s been sitting in the landfill for 500 years.”
Gaddafi comeback bid hinges on $6 billion “white Europe” extortion scheme, …

Because having those unblinking, soulless eyes gazing back at you would be, you know, creepy.
(from this auction)

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