News Briefs for Tuesday, March 30

Ricky Martin comes out. Aunt Lupe admitted to the hospital for shock.

Goose that laid golden egg nears death from over-laying.

Insurance companies insist that law requiring them to issue coverage to children with pre-existing conditions doesn’t; still front-runner in the “Most Evil Industry in the World 2010″ competition.

The Large Hadron Collider smashed particles this morning, and everything is just as it always has been, fellow citizens of Nova Roma.

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