News Briefs for Wednesday, February 24

A world-famous lingerie model is believed to run one of the largest drug empires in the world, employing other models to ferry the drugs throughout the world. In related news, the writing staffs of the various Law & Order and CSI franchises have engaged in knife fights to see who gets to write this episode.

Wrong lessons learned from Carrie Prejean’s career arc.

Newton, Mass. ranked 2nd richest American city, states its affection for quirky blue collar suburb from across the tracks is genuine.

Anti-bullying bill advances in Mass. legislature despite opponents’ sharp questions about its masculinity, taste in clothes, and inability to perform a single push-up.

“Big Government” regulators quash the free market once again.

A man accused of shooting a fellow college student had several weapons, including two assault rifles, in his fraternity house. Only when ALL drunken frat boys are armed will there be less shooting.

Navy to allow women on subs. In other news…yes, we just checked, we ARE in the 21st century.

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