News Briefs for Thursday, February 25

In most awesome story ever, bikers steal pirate skull.

Sgt. Savage enforces traffic regulations in Dorset, misses years spent fighting COBRA.

Real life FIGHT CLUB turns out to be tremendously bad idea.

We would also accept “Snowlocaust,” “Snownami,” or “The Jay Leno Snow.”

Mall scene of incredibly obvious metaphor for Dubai economy.

Lady Gaga scarecrow proves more effective than Madonna, Kylie scarecrows.

Native Americans rake in millions of dollars from oil discovered on tiny bit of their land they’ve been allowed to have.

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